Beneath Shadows of Doubt
by thenopetrain
Summary: Takes place after the events of 'What happens at home'. Multiple character interactions with a focus on Rossi and Seaver's POVs. There will be a chapter from every episode onward.
1. Chapter 1

**In the wake of not being able to conjure enough muse to spit out a DECENT chapter for my current story on Criminal Minds Fandom and between paragraphs for my Christmas Gift Fic….I have been inspired by the new take on Ashley Seaver and well...wanted to try my hand at it. SO HERE YOU ARE FIC WRITERS AND READERS! This might turn into more chapters, I'm just not sure yet. This is set, literally, after "what happens at home". **

**Summary:** After the events in New Mexico, Ashley Seaver discovers something about David Rossi that she didn't expect in a man who she sees as a hero.

**Featured Characters:** All of them, but focused on an Ashley and Rossi the most; just not as a couple.

**Disclaimer:** I OWN NOTHING. But thanks for letting me borrow you're awesome characters.

* * *

She could see age where a light dusting of salt and pepper had taken root in his dark hair. There was a tentative eagerness to the way her eyes traveled the lines worn wearily on his face, the way they soaked in every detail. Even in the dark she could see the beginnings of stubble; a vague five o'clock shadow that met the facial hair he sported so acutely. Sleep was the only time she'd ever seen his guard down, and from her perspective, it was fascinating. Dozens of years worth of stories were etched in that noble face across from her; wonderful and tragic stories. Even in his sleep she could sense a light stress from the way his eyebrows furrowed lightly every now and then. She wondered briefly what it was that he dreamt of: If those dreams were horrifying, if they were happy, if they were sad… Ashley Seaver was a girl of many curiosities; a longing for normalcy if only for a few moments. Waking up was the worst part.

The day would start beautifully with the opening of her eyes, an escape from the dreamland she had long gotten used to as dark and dismal, until she would recall that her past was no dream at all….and that the nightmares were still very real. But it was an interesting thing for her to openly stare at David Rossi as he slept. Having long since controlled the tears that begged themselves to be spilled from her eyes, she had taken to reading, to staring out the window, and then to finally noticing that one of the men that had been responsible for putting her father away for life, for rescuing her and her family, along with several other possible victims, had fallen into a gentle slumber.

Ashley drew in a shaky breath as she watched Rossi shift; his arms were crossed in front of him, his head leaning against the seat beside him as his feat poked into the aisle. He looked exhausted despite being asleep and she had to wonder how much rest any of them really got. She, for one, would definitely not be enjoying that luxury this evening; not after her little escapade. New Mexico had not been the experience she'd hoped for. In fact, she'd felt quite useless consulting them when they were so good at what they did.

The BAU seemed to function without her; something she'd hoped wouldn't have been so prevalent. Despite her obvious willingness to help, she'd made a rookie mistake; one that could have cost her her life and others lives' as well. She couldn't help but feel disappointed in herself, and nervous with Agent Hotchner's ominous warning. _You messed up big time, Ash,_ she thought sullenly. That was the understatement of the year. But the worst part was that she had to be stuck in the same vicinity as Aaron Hotchner and his anger; she was stuck with feeling as though she'd let him down.

And while she understood why he was angry with her, she just wished that she had had the courage to tell him why it had been so important for her to apologize…to do _something_ after all the years of doing nothing. Rossi had seemed to understand, had comforted her in the way a father would a daughter, a mentor to a mentee. She hated letting people down, and when she'd seen the guilt written on Rossi's face, she'd turned away with a sad smile; choosing to cry without his comforting touch, without his tender consoling.

She stared apologetically at the sleeping David Rossi before getting up from her seat and moving towards the back of the plane; catering herself to a glass of water to quench the thirst she felt after everything that had happened. Nearly everyone was asleep as the Bureau's Jet soared on from New Mexico to Virginia; the night outside the plane's windows a dark and unwelcoming void. Morgan had fallen asleep to his music in the aisle across from Hotch, while their Unit Chief seemed to be staring out the window with a pen in his hand, but a look closer revealed to her that his eyes were indeed closed. Emily had her jacket draped over her shoulders, her head resting on the window as she sat across from Reid, who was trying to keep his eyes open as he put the finishing touches on some paper work.

He looked up briefly as she passed by to return to her seat, offering her a small, awkward smile which she returned with one of her own and a slight nod. She had tried to find some quiet greeting to spit out, some kind of notion to make him not inquire about her well-being as Rossi had, but nothing had come out, and thus she was resigned to slip into her seat; careful not to wake the sleeping man in front of her. But it was no use anyway, the jet made a light dissent from the sky while she'd gone to sit and she fell into the leather rather abruptly, the sound of the pristine material waking Rossi with a start.

He peered at her grumpily, blinking his bleary eyes once or twice before straightening by drawing his feet in from the aisle.

"Sorry." Ashley smiled guiltily and traced the edges of her water cup.

"Don't worry about it." He tried to whisper through a yawn, keeping his arms folded across his chest as he stared at her. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"That would have been rude. Plus, you looked like you needed the rest." It was the only excuse she had to offer him, which seemed to satisfy him after another yawn. They fell into compatible silence as the plane continued to descend. It wasn't until the plane had landed, and the team had started to file out of the plane that someone caught her arm, making her turn around to face a tired, but smiling Emily Prentiss.

"Why don't you ride back with me and Rossi?" Ashley was a bit taken aback by the offer, glancing at them uncertainly before shrugging.

"Sure, thanks." Her best attempt at a smile was probably a failure after the night they'd had, but it was all they were getting from her as she followed Prentiss and Rossi to one of the Bureau-issued SUVs awaiting them. Rossi climbed behind the wheel, Emily took the passenger side, and left Ashley to the back seat.

"You came with Rossi to our office right?" Emily broke the silence as Dave put the truck in drive.

"Yep," She answered quickly, knowing exactly where the conversation was going. "I can find a ride back to my place though, it's no big deal."

"Oh come on Seaver, we're not going to make you catch a cab at this hour." Prentiss seemed to be in a good mood; to Rossi's surprise. He glanced at her, a sideways stare as one of his eyebrows lifted in mock scrutiny. Ashley watched their silent exchange in mute interest; attempting to discern some kind of hidden conversation between them.

"It's really not a problem." She injected happily, finally feeling some relief from the tension earlier in the evening. She caught Rossi's eye in the rearview mirror, unconsciously straightening under his stare.

"I'll drive you back home after I finish some paperwork; it won't be a problem." His voice held a finality that she didn't think she could argue with; plus there was the fact that she just didn't have it in her to say no to him tonight.

"If you're sure. That would be great, thanks." Her response was quickly followed by Prentiss turning around to look at her; twisting in her seat in order to face the younger agent.

"Don't worry about Hotch, by the way. He just likes to keep everyone safe; it's his job." She offered easily, re-opening the evening's events with a couple of smooth sentences.

"I messed up; he has every right to be mad. I take responsibility for my actions." Ashley looked down, shame suddenly filling her face before she glanced out the window.

"We all make mistakes." Prentiss corrected, silently impressed with Seaver's maturity, but not surprised by it. "Take Rossi for example." Her face opened into a huge smile as she was, no doubt, remembering some of the things he did on his return to the BAU; plus the added enjoyment of using him as a model for this lovely ride back to Quantico.

"Emily…" Rossi's low warning sounded as he stopped at a red light, glancing at her crossly from the driver's seat; the only give away was the slight twitch of a smirk on his lips.

"Don't Emily me." She said in mock annoyance, rolling her eyes a little to look back at Ashley, who sat in the middle of the back seat expectantly. "The first few weeks back, Morgan and I thought we were going to have to kill him. He contacted the Media his first case back without telling any of us, ended up having to shoot the guy, which wasn't a mistake, but still. He wasn't much of a team player back then." Emily lightly punched Dave's right arm, and Rossi just shrugged.

"A lot has changed since this thing was started; I just had to get used to it." He said a bit shamelessly as he turned and stopped at the guard gate, all of them flashing their badges at this late hour.

"Plus," Emily seemed content on continuing as they were cleared through the gate, and Dave parked the SUV. "Hotch never stays mad for too long."

"I hope you're right. And thanks Emily." Ashley hoped that Prentiss knew she meant every word she said as she grabbed her bag from the seat and walked up the steps into the building.

"No worries, we have each other's' backs." Prentiss met Dave around the front of the car.

"Always." Rossi added gruffly as he shrugged into his coat and slung his bag over his shoulder; glancing at Emily with an unreadable expression. Ashley looked back on them for a moment and watched the others walk up, noticing the way they seemed to release some unseen anxiety when they came together; and for a moment she wondered what it would be like to have that bond. To be so certain of people around you was almost awe-inspiring. It was Morgan who caught her eye this time, smiling at her with a devious twinkle in his eye.

"Come on little girl, let's teach you how to do paper work the right way." Derek walked up beside her and put his arm around her shoulder, guiding her into the double-doors with everyone muttering low admonitions to their dark agent about not scaring the new girl.

* * *

Ashley approached Agent Rossi's door at a quarter to two in the morning and went to knock; pausing only when her fortitude wavered as she noticed how low the lighting was coming out of the window. The blinds were drawn, but the edges held a warm glow that a fire might cast into a dim household.

"Agent Rossi?" She knocked lightly, finding the door swung open a bit in the process. "Sir?" Ashley peered into the room, poking her head from around the door to find him asleep for the second time since she'd been re-acquainted after all this time. The only differences she noted were the sounds of his gentle snoring and the fact that there was a tumbler, a quarter-full of amber liquid, in his hand as he slept; the empty bottle of what she assumed was scotch or whiskey having found a place in the trash bin beside his desk.

Something about this seemed surreal to her as she crept into the office; despite the alarm bells her instincts were currently sounding off. She knew she shouldn't be in here, knew that she should just go find a cab or see if Emily had left yet. But apparently she was a glutton for punishment as she found herself carefully prying the glass from his hand and setting in down quietly on the desktop in front of him. He was leaning back in his chair, his head lulled back to the right; undoubtedly uncomfortable.

"Rossi, Sir?" She poked him in the shoulder a few times until he slowly opened his eyes, lifting his head to look at her. She noticed how round his pupils were, the way he looked at her but didn't seem to see her, and lastly the fact that his breath wreaked of alcohol. _Oh you've got to be kidding me,_ she thought to herself as he went to close his eyes again. "Hey, you ready to leave?"

It looked as though he'd only gotten through half of his paperwork since they'd gotten back. He barely responded to her talking and she resulted to shaking his shoulder, which elicited a more profound reaction; him jerking and slamming his knee into his desk. He muttered a low curse and clutched at his leg, which he began to rub furiously.

"What are you doing in here?" He asked accusingly, glaring up at her from bloodshot eyes.

"I came in to see if you were ready to leave." She jumped into a rapid explanation, her heart pounding in her chest. "You-you said you were going to give me a ride…?" What was meant to be a reminder turned into a tentative question as she backed a few feet away; suddenly wondering if he was even in the condition to drive at all.

"Oh, right. Ya I'm ready, go grab your stuff." He said as he looked around for his bag from his seat, craning his head to peer at the couch across from his desk.

"'Kay." She said and she walked briskly from his office and down the steps; glancing around the bullpen to see everyone had left already. Ashley obediently grabbed her bag from near Derek Morgan's desk and looked up to see Rossi easing himself down the stairs slowly. She watched him deftly, calculating each of his wavering steps, noticing the way his hand gripped the rail for dear life as he descended. The last step was what made her nearly launch herself into action; her body tensing as he tripped. "Are you ok?" She asked, moving determinedly to his side.

"What? Oh, ya perfect." _Was that sarcasm in his voice?_ He started to move on towards the double, glass doors and she was forced to dismiss the thought. A few years back, she had audited a class on the psychology of grief and loss, and she couldn't stop thinking about the ways in which people cope. _So this is how he copes?_ She just didn't want to imagine the great David Rossi drinking himself to sleep every night after a case. No, she decided, that wasn't the reason he had emptied a bottle of alcohol before they went home. _There was probably barely any left in the bottle anyway._ Yeah, a small glass after work; everyone does that. Her mental pep talk was doing nothing for her confidence as he seemed to sag while waiting for the elevator.

She kept glancing at him until finally the bell dinged and the elevator doors opened. He staggered inside, and she squeezed in before the doors closed; watching his eyes droop as he attempted to lean casually against one of the walls. The jarring of the elevator stopping made them both jump; her out of her reverie, and him out of sleep. After a cumbersome walk to his truck, he went to climb into the driver's side when she suddenly blocked his way.

"You think that's a good idea?" Her voice was careful in its assertion.

"What are you-?" He protested a bit raucously as she snatched the keys from his hand and looked up at him seriously.

"I'm driving, get in." She guided him around to the passenger-side door, then jogged around to the driver's side, hopped in, and started the truck. "So where to?" He was leaning back against the window, his eyes drifting close. He muttered something incoherently, and Ashley, out of mild frustration, just shifted the truck into drive.

* * *

How she managed to get him into her apartment was beyond her. He was asleep for the entire ride. _Passed out,_ she reminded herself as she slouched in a chair opposite her couch, while the infamous David Rossi lay across that said piece of furniture. She had been sitting there for over an hour contemplating the repercussions of this night. First, she had to go and nearly get herself killed, forcing Agent Hotchner to kill a little girl's last parent; despite him being a serial killer and the reasons for her mother's death.

She broke protocol to apologize to a family that didn't need her apology; they had been just like her own. Ashley drew her arms around her, suddenly chilled by the thought of that little girl's face as she was guided into the squad car by the man lying on her couch. How was she going to explain this? She wouldn't have to. She couldn't. A noise came from him, jarring her from her thoughts. Out of her chair in a second, Ashley crouched down in front of him, tentatively putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Sir?" She whispered, suddenly aware of the fact that it was completely ridiculous to be doing so. She shook his shoulder. "Hey, you awake?" His face was scrunched up, a light grimace as he turned to look at her; his eyes glassy.

"...you safe…shouldn't have been there." He swallowed, drawing in a breath. Ashley couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep; his words were slurred, thready. "My fault…."

"It's okay, it's fine." She responded dumbly, finding that it was the only thing she could say. But he'd closed his eyes again. Troubled, she leaned back to sit between the couch and the coffee table. Her place was what you'd expect from a girl going through the FBI Academy; small, furnished, with a few decorations, and some electronics that were never turned on anymore. This was not happening to her, she was going to wake up and laugh at how absurd this dream had been.

She could not be taking care of Senior SSA David Rossi just after screwing up on a case she was supposed to be consulting on. Not that it really broke protocol, but it definitely disrupted some of the social laws where appropriateness was concerned. He'd promised her a ride out of professional, if not personal, obligation, and then gotten drunk; to which she was now responsible for his well-being.

_At least I get to repay him._ She was fairly certain that her dreams of working for the BAU were destroyed by her conduct in New Mexico, but she planned to talk to Agent Prentiss about finishing her short remediation by shadowing her.

But this…situation was muddying the water between professional respect for David Rossi and personal worry and would undoubtedly make her stay a little more awkward in the days to come…

* * *

**Okay so that was longer than I thought it was going to be. I'm doing another chapter for "25 to Life", and then a few more during the break since we have to wait until JANUARY 15TH to see what's up with Reid. If you have time I'd really appreciate a few R&R's. I know that with the Holiday people are pressed for time, but your opinions would be great! and maybe some advice as to where to take the story :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Gosh it's been WAY longer than I'd expected. I got a new laptop for Christmas so I've been juggling getting the Microsoft software for it (I'm a poor college student xD) and all of my other documents and music and crap onto the new one so I hope you'll forgive how late this new installment is.**

**So, here it is; the new installment for 25 to Life! I hope you like it. It was hard for me to get a decent story in between all the moments that happened in the episode. **

**Thanks to all of you who reviewed! And no, don't worry; I'm not making Rossi a drunk cause that isn't how I see him either. I hope I do this episode justice; there were a lot of angles to get at. I also hope I keep to Ashley's personality so if you feel anything needs correcting just let me know. **

**I recently was very frustrated with the way that the writers were writing her so I hope this doesn't come off as cold cause that's how I feel about the character right now haha. I'm not quite sure I like her yet. **

**Another thing: I seriously forgot that I had written all of these updates for this story, cause I was going to go back and play around with them but I came across them the other day when I was working on a paper for school and nearly kicked myself for not updating so I'M REALLY REALLY SORRY FOR THAT! So now you guys get an extra…6 chapters because of my stupidity. **

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of Criminal Minds blah blah, blahblahblah…

* * *

_Away, away, away!_ Every fiber in her body screamed at her to flee the bullpen, but it seemed everyone, including herself, was fixated on the door that had just been slammed shut. For a moment, she'd been seized with apprehension when Rossi had walked in through the double doors. Strauss, hounding him with barely concealed rage, had rescued her from the 'talk' Rossi had promised her they were going to have.

_More like 'ordered'…_She thought, swallowing the heart that had leapt into her throat. Ashley busied herself with a load of files, hoping to cover up the involuntary jitters before the others decided to ignore the obvious shouting match taking place on the other side of Rossi's door.

To be honest, on any other night, she might have been engrossed with what was going on between two of their superiors, but all she wanted to do was finish the paperwork Emily had assigned her to and go home. She wanted to sit on her couch, with maybe a cup of tea, and the TV as her sole companion until she passed out from exhaustion. Today's case had literally suffocated her.

How many times had she wanted her dad to be innocent? How many times had she wished that the evidence was wrong, that detectives, that Agent Rossi himself, would find something contrary to the world's belief about her father? How many times had she seen movies with plots ending like today had? Had they noticed her silence while Morgan and Rossi relayed how the reunion between father and son had been?

Unlike Josh Sanderson, she would never get her wish. She would never have a father to hug, to have congratulate her, to love and care about her…

Feeling eyes on her, Seaver glanced at Reid, who cleared his throat and ducked his head; clearly a little embarrassed that he'd been caught staring at her.

"I have to go to the bathroom…" She said finally; the heart fluttering in her chest telling her she was close to crying.

* * *

Her plan had been to collect herself; to stare into the mirror and shed away the insecurities lingering just under the surface. But she barely made it out the glass doors before tears pooled into her eyes. _So much for that…_ Ashley didn't register the presence of others in the hall until she rounded the corner, spying Morgan and Garcia talking seriously in front of the bathrooms. Darting back around the corner to press herself up against the wall, she prayed they hadn't seen her. Silently willing their conversation to carry on without pause, she realized that they were arguing.

"It's not your fault; you didn't know he was going to go all 'John McClain' when he got out of prison!"

"Baby Girl, it isn't about that. Catching Stanworth was luck! What if Sanderson had actually committed those crimes? What if I slip up again? How could I have not seen that he still held a grudge?" The last sentence came out a little more forcefully and she heard a loud bang somewhere down the hall as Derek smacked the wall.

"But you saw his innocence first, not everyone has that gift." Garcia seemed to have won the argument for a brief moment, and Ashley strained to hear if they were walking towards her.

"But-"

"Uh-uh, no 'buts'. No more doubt, okay?" Garcia must have gotten the response she'd wanted because she was the only one Ashley could hear talking. "Good. Come on Mama's got a whole two hours to watch 'An Affair to Remember' and I need a shoulder to cry on."

By the time their footsteps had long turned to echoes, Ashley was left with a feeling of déjà vu. For the second time since joining up with this team, she felt left out. They were so much more than a team. This family knew the ins and outs of how their members operated and what would get to them.

_How can I relate to that?_ She'd never had the luxury of trusting someone so fully. As she pulled herself out of her daze, she realized that the tears were gone, that she'd probably been leaning up against the wall for more than a few minutes because she all but stood-at-attention when Strauss barged her way down the hall towards her. Hastily trying to make it seem as if she was walking back, Ashley murmured a small "Ma'am" at the BAU Director; receiving a dismissal via glare.

* * *

She re-entered the bullpen with a heavy heart, her eyes down-cast as she made her way towards Reid and Prentiss once more.

"Rossi ordered everyone to leave." Emily stated tersely as she shoved a file or two in her bag before reaching to organize her desk.

Seaver gave Reid a questioning glance. "What happened?"

"Strauss." Even though he said her name like it explained everything, it was, perhaps, the shortest explanation she'd had yet to hear from the young genius since her first case with the team.

"Ya, and then Rossi happened. See you tomorrow." Slinging her bag over her shoulder, Emily left them without another word.

Ashley watched her go, feeling a bit taken aback by the agent's prickly demeanor. Fully intending to make Reid spill more details than earlier, she turned towards him; the words dying in her mouth as she noticed his pinched, almost pained expression.

"You okay?"

It seemed to take him a minute to compose himself and that left Seaver with a million more questions. "Huh? Oh ya. Ya I'm fine; just tired. Well…night." He mumbled his excuses and hurried towards the exit. Ashley watched him go, feeling more lost than she had a few seconds prior. Sighing, she started to pack her bag, taking a few more files than was entirely necessary; hoping that extra work might keep her mind off of today. With a glance at Rossi's closed door, she quietly left.

* * *

Victory had never tasted so sweet, as she sipped the tea she'd been thinking about having earlier. The late-night reruns of 'I Love Lucy' were blaring into her small apartment. Aside from nearly having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the bullpen tonight, she'd say it was a fairly successful day. She hadn't had time to really worry about the situation she'd found herself in with Rossi last night, she hadn't made any mistakes on this case, and she'd pretty much asked all the right questions while they'd deliberated. And the greatest of all was that she had put off her and Rossi's 'discussion' until a later date.

As the show went to a commercial, she picked another file from her coffee table and flipped through it. Just a bunch of tertiary comments on the team's conduct to get through and she could go to bed.

A knock at her door made her turn and stare in the general direction of it. _No,_ she thought to herself, glancing at the clock on the cable box, _it's almost twelve-thirty…don't you sleep?_ With anxiety crawling around in her stomach, she darted to the door, peeking out the eye-hole. Rossi stood there, his back facing her door as he watched the hallway. A sigh escaped her as she lightly leaned her head against the door before opening it.

"Hey." He said turning around, a diffident smile on his face. "I thought I heard something."

Ashley didn't say a word as she pulled the door open further and stepped aside, motioning for him to come in. When she'd closed the door, they stood there, a pregnant silence hanging between them.

"Would you like something to drink?" She asked out of manner; completely regretting doing so when he winced, guilt slowly writing itself across his face.

"Look…I didn't-"

"It's fine…if anything, it was my chance to repay you." She felt cheesy saying that, and she blushed a little when he looked at her in surprise. Her arms folded across her chest as he watched her; clearly trying to discern on what to do. When he finally looked down, that bashful smile of his had disappeared and was replaced by a colder…more distant look. Doubt must have leaked into her face because he glanced at the TV when the laughter of an unseen audience filtered into their conversation. A part of her was grateful to him for not prying, but another part of her wished he would just ask; better to spit it out than dance around the topic.

"I didn't peg you as an oldies fan." He commented, smiling as Lucy stomped around in a barreled pool of berries on the TV.

"There aren't shows like this anymore."

Dave turned to watch her as she laughed when Lucy fell face first into the juice; a world-weary look on his face. Ashley, catching the tail end of the look, smiled back at him reassuringly. "I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"The Sanderson's…they just got me thinking is all." Ashley had never been very good at passing things off as less than they were to the man in front of her. Not when she was little, not when they'd been on their way back from New Mexico, and certainly not now.

"About your dad." There it was again, that look that doubled the exhaustion in his eyes. "We didn't make a mistake, Ash."

"I know." Her voice was a little stronger, a little curter than she'd expected it to be. "But that didn't stop me from wishing you had." All of her fantasies about being able to forgive her dad, about all of their neighbors being proven wrong about her family, about the victims' families taking back their rash words in the midst of apologies…life just didn't work that way; and she felt foolish for being so vulnerable.

"Don't let him win." Rossi stepped closer to her, his dark eyes so unbearably understanding that she couldn't help the tears pooling into her eyes.

"But every time I see a victim, every time I look at the cases you guys have solved…I compromise a part of myself because of my past. How can I do that and this job?" Her voice had pitched into desperation and loathing; her lip quivering lightly as angry tears streamed down her face.

Whether he meant to hold her or not, she pushed her way into his comforting embrace when he'd reached a hand towards her. The contact of another person broke her emotional barriers and she was left crying quietly into his shoulder. By the time she pulled away, by the time she'd calmed down, I Love Lucy was over and some paid preview was on about the next 'amazing duster'.

"Thanks." She avoided his gaze as she stepped back to wipe her eyes on the sleeve of her sweatshirt.

"Sometimes it helps to let it get to you." Rossi, speaking from experience had started to take off his sport jacket. "Trust me." A small smile was on his lips now as he made his way to the couch and laid it over the back.

"What are you doing?" She asked when he'd begun to pick up the files she'd had on the cushions and place them neatly on the table.

"It also helps to know someone else is there if you need them." He didn't look up at her as he removed his watch and placed it next to the pile of files.

"You don't have to." She said as she watched him stretch out on the couch. The idea of having another person in the apartment was comforting, if only because his presence made her feel protected but…

"Go to sleep." Rossi said as he made himself comfortable on the couch and closed his eyes; ignoring any more complaints she might have made.

And as she made her way towards her bedroom, Ashley wondered if it was her he was really trying to comfort…

* * *

**The Corazon-tag will be up tomorrow. I'm just re-reading them all and it's late. Hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if you liked it!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't know what to think about this chapter. So please let me know what you guys think about it! I guess I just got thinking about the ritualistic part of Corazon. Sorry there hasn't been much Hotch in this fic yet, but he'll show up eventually. Enjoy! And thanks for the reviews everyone! I loved 'em! ;D**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any part of Criminal Minds I'm just borrowing from it.

* * *

The smell of burning candles is the first thing he notices. Soon after comes the driving of a whimsical feeling into his soul; reminiscent in its entirety. Shadows dance along the walls as the flames flutter lightly from the air being disturbed during his entrance. The door closing behind him sends defiant echoes into the ambient silence, lost in the vast expansion that rises upwards and centralizes on a crucifix. Despite the comfort offered here, it's cold and drafty; the byproducts of the lack in audience.

It's a safe haven, and even though the chill sends a shiver marching down his spine, raising the hairs on his arms, and prickling his body with goose bumps, there is a peaceful aura amid the old, wooden pews that scatter the tiled floor. But David Rossi's eyes are stolen towards the cross at the far end of the church and he's having a hard time discerning whether it's out of habit or need.

At first there is a hesitation in his step, a mild fear that settles into each muscle. His breath catches in his lungs, and he can't remember a time where he's ever been so moved by entering a church. _It's just a goddamn building._ Desperately clinging to his fortitude, it's something he can't afford to lose. It surprises him, this lack of initiative.

It feels like hours before one foot finally scuffs the floor; every sound a thousand times louder. This fear that has settled uncomfortably in his stomach is not one of danger, but rejection which is surely absurd. There is the lingering history that plays on the edge of his mind: the good, the bad, and the moments where trust seemed to be an issue with this sanctuary. He feels the liveliness of the church, the lurking static in the air.

This dance of acceptance is one he's done many times; after every divorce, after retiring, after the cases that make him restless….after today. Perhaps it's not the acceptance with the place, but the acceptance of believing he's worthy of a forgiveness he isn't ready to ask for. It's a home for his thoughts, his emotions, and one of the truest forms of himself but even then he feels like religion will erase the sensibility he'd gotten every day since he'd abandoned God's help.

As his hand brushes along the cold glaze that covers the wooden pew to his right, a sigh slowly, softly escapes his mouth; allowing him to inhale the crisp and ancient smells he remembers as a child. Held by the atmosphere, cradled by the comfort of familiarity, he lets the church's paradoxical comfort wash over him. The candles blink lethargically at him as he moves down the aisle to drop into a random pew. The quiet rings loudly in his ears, adding to the weariness he feels after a day like this.

Able to pull off the convenient objectivity during the case, he is content to let his worries reside just beneath the surface. If only because pride and experience has taught him that letting his guard down can be a futile mistake. He leans forward, props his elbows on his knees, and stares at his hands; hands that have killed, hands that have saved. Rossi draws in a large breath, breathing out steadily.

"Do mine eyes deceive me?" The familiar voice beside him creates a rueful, if not ironic, smile on the profiler's face.

"Hey Jimmy." Dave greets the priest quietly; disturbed by the fact that he hadn't realized the man's approach. Jimmy's giving him that knowing look, but Dave doesn't really want to look him in the face just yet.

"So is He giving you the answers you need?"

Dave snorts, glancing back up at the cross hanging on the wall behind the altar. _Typical,_ he thinks of his friend; always asking the questions with trick answers. "Nope."

"Maybe you aren't asking the right questions." Jimmy moves to mimic Dave's position, leaning onto his knees and casting a side-glance in his direction. There's a reason Dave and Jim had always gotten along. It wasn't because they'd grown up together, it wasn't because of all the times Rossi had needed a place to crash, and Jimmy had always put him up…no, it was because there were never questions of compulsion.

There was no pressure in their friendship; each party knew the needs of the other. It was almost ridiculous to Dave, who'd spent his life time learning how to see under the skin of others, that their inherent understanding of each other took no effort. It was unspoken and a comfort as he finally glanced over towards his company.

"I'm not asking for myself." He finally admitted, ringing his hands and leaning back against the pew.

"Ah," Came the small revelation from the priest. "You always did choose the path of the martyr."

"_Jimmy_…" Dave's deep voice warned.

"Do you know of Raphael the Archangel?"

Dave cocked an eyebrow in the priest's direction, "One of the seven." Recalling the days from his Catholic upbringing.

"He's also the lead character in the book of Tobit. Raphael travelled with___,_ and guarded, Tobiah. On that journey he also cured a man's blindness."

"Am I the blind man in this story?" Rossi smirked, not really liking the thought of that. He often prided himself on 'seeing' what others could not.

"Yes." Jimmy laughed and then got a quiet. "But you're also Raphael."

Rossi looked at him sharply, scoffing as he brought his arms up to stretch them across the back of the pew. When Dave failed to say anything, Jimmy sighed.

"You're a guardian, Davey. It's at the core of who you are." Jimmy stood, deciding to face his friend by leaning up against the pew in front of them. "But you can't always carry your failures with you." At this the priest pointed to his head and his heart.

"I carry them until I right them." Dave was staring past his friend, a far off look in his eye.

"That's a vengeful life to lead." The furrow on Jim's face was now one of concern, and it was a look Rossi didn't think he could meet.

"Maybe." Biting his lip, Rossi focused on the cross. "Or maybe it's just."

They sat in silence for a few moments, listening to sounds of the creaking church and the bell tolling above them. Rossi thought of Ernest Hemingway's novel _For Whom the Bell Tolls_ and smirked; a heaviness settling in his chest.

_Eat your heart out, right?_ The thought passed sarcastically through his mind as he stared into space. The bell finally became nothing more than an echo, and Jimmy folded his arms across his chest.

"For the guilty, there's always forgiveness." Jimmy said as he leaned away from the pew to stand fully. "And there's a confessional with your name on it." Jim smiled knowingly at Dave and patted his shoulder before walking off towards the altar.

Rossi watched him go, wondering if he should take up his friend's second offer at confession since the case with Emily. But the thing was that Rossi didn't know whether or not he could face all the demons when he could barely handle a few.

And it was certainly a situation he couldn't bluff his way out of.

* * *

Ashley watched as Reid walked around her temporary desk and threw himself into his chair. His sun glasses, despite being inside, were still on and she smiled teasingly.

"You know your glasses are still on right?" She was appraising him with a smirk that bespoke her joking tone.

"Of course I _know._" He bit out; bringing his hand up to rub his temples.

Ashley was momentarily speechless. She placed the file she'd had in her hand down on the desk and looked at him, leaning over so that there was a semblance of privacy.

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly, spying Morgan and Prentiss coming out of Hotch's office.

"Yes! I'm fine." He snapped, lurching up and out of his chair. "Why does everyone keep asking me that?" He left furiously, snatching his bag from beside his desk.

Morgan and Prentiss were staring in their direction at Reid's shrill and angry voice. Ashley was left stunned and a bit disappointed. _Probably should have handled that differently,_ she thought with a frown.

"What's up with Ried?" Morgan asked, watching Reid's retreating figure from Prentiss's desk.

"I asked if he was ok." Ashley turned towards him. "And then he freaked out."

"Yeah he was acting weird on this last case." Derek's pinched face was thoughtful as he looked fixatedly at the glass doors.

"Morgan," Emily's voice warned him as she seated herself at her desk. "Don't even think about it. He'll tell us when he's ready." She hadn't even looked up from the file she'd pulled out to read which made the piece of advice all that more final.

"Emily, he's wearing those beads that that guy gave him." Morgan sounded a little more concerned than Ashley was used to hearing. "Don't you think that's something to bring up?" Reid wasn't _that_ superstitious.

"Beads?" Ashley asked, thinking about the yellow bracelet Reid had been wearing when he left.

"Yeah, apparently they ward off 'souls of the dead'." Said a still frowning Morgan as he recalled what Julio had said in the interrogation room. He'd overheard Hotch and Rossi talking about it on the plane while Reid seemed to be sleeping. There was definitely something going on with the kid.

"Morgan, I'm just telling you to leave it alone. Reid deals with things in his own way." The unspoken '_Just like we do'_ was clear. "Remember?" Emily cast a meaningful glance up at her teammate. Ashley watched the two, feeling as though she were missing something. _Might as well try and find some stuff out._

"Remember what?" She asked with mild curiosity, not wanting to sound desperate to fit in. Morgan glared at Emily for a second before sighing; clearly a sign of giving in to her point. Emily and Derek stared at each other for a moment, and Ashley couldn't deny the silent conversation they were having.

"Nothin', it was a while ago." Muttered Morgan as he turned and walked up the stairs towards his office. Ashley tried to catch Prentiss's eye but the agent was doing a good job at avoiding her and her question. _Okay wrong topic._ Ashley wished they had a 'how to get along with BAU profilers for dummies' book as she went back to finishing the paperwork that never seemed to end.

"Hey," Emily swiveled in her chair, and for a second Ashley thought she was going to get filled in on Reid's past. "Do you know where Rossi is?"

Of course, Rossi was one of the reasons she was on the team, but _I didn't know I was supposed to keep tabs on him._ "No, I haven't seen him since we landed." Ashley really tried not to sound disappointed, but Emily seemed not to notice if she did because she sighed.

"I needed to talk to him." Emily said distractedly as she turned back to her work, leaving Seaver growing more frustrated by the second.

_They don't trust me._ And she was left trying to figure out how best earn that trust; finally deciding that she'd just do her job, be the best quick-study anyone had ever seen. And she was going to stop trying to figure out the mysteries no one seemed to want to talk about.

Even if that meant distancing herself from the group for a while until she showed them she could handle the BAU…

* * *

**Well there you have it! R&R please! That reactions to things help me a lot in discerning what reads well and what doesn't. ^^**


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